Wednesday, December 1, 2010

A Culmination

No matter how hard you try to remain unflappable and centered, a day will come along that just sort of pushes you around a bit.  I've had time to go through the day and think about this and that and I feel centered again.  My day began like any other day.  Walked to work, clocked in, and started preparing last minute items.

Within ten minutes of being at work I inadvertently upset one of my close friends.  Realizing my error I quickly apologized... but that feeling of disappointment in myself would hangover my head the rest of the day.

Twenty minutes later I was told I was to have a parent meeting with a concerned parent.  That had my mind racing about what the concerns were.  I began to question my teaching... was I doing a good job?  I pressed on.

The meeting went well and the conversation was very productive.  But I still didn't feel like I was doing a good job, although the director and immediate boss reassured me I was.  I guess everyone can have doubts from time to time... and I try to take those times as opportunities to better myself and focus new found energy on the task at hand.  But inturn it can be unwanted stress and distract my mind from clear thoughts.

After work I was able to unwind at the gym and focus on non-work related issues.  As I walked home I stopped by Kate's place to say hello to her and her friend Leslie.  In less than twenty minutes I was walking out the door feeling a meriad of emotions... Irritability, frustration, embarrassment, and pretty much down right foolishness.  What I thought was turning into an arguement was a total misunderstanding... And by the time Kate and I cleared the air on Skype I felt like the biggest shmuck in Korea.

It's funny, I tell myself all the time to think before I speak... choose my words and have meaning and purpose behind them... but it's inevitable... my mouth must like the taste of my foot.  Nothing terrible happened today.  No catostrophic event... I wasn't fired, wasn't even talked to sternly... it was just a parents meeting that I was nervous about...  I didn't get in a knockdown dragout fight with my friend, it was just a misunderstanding... 

Today was just a day that flicked me in the nose and said, "Pay attention!"
Message received.

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