Where Are You Internet?
The Saga of the LCI Network
By, Josh Niehues
I’m wondering why the internet here doesn’t start to work until 9am? It seems to be a reoccurring pattern. Last Thursday and Friday I was on this very computer around 8:30am and there was no connectivity. Then by some miraculous act of God the internet blockage was parted like the Red Sea. Now I sit here and wait for that holy number like a Mesoamerican Shaman waiting for the summer rains to decree his peoples crops will grow. Will my crops grow or are my fields to lay fallow?
Oh internet how I beseech you to do what you were designed to do… Hmmm… maybe PS ( our computer technician and all around go-to guy) has a secret switch that he flips in the morning releasing all that is the internet. Should I pay homage to the mighty PS, for he is the one with the all knowing all encompassing knowledge? I had a piece of toast this morning for breakfast… was that an image of PS? 8:45am… no internet………………….
How will the children ever receive their report cards? How will their parents ever be able to find out how they’re doing in class? These are only a handful of questions that may never be answered. 8:49am… no internet.
8:55am the time approaches!
9:00am where is the miracle?
9:10am I have lost my faith! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Day four of a saga that has only been chronicled for two days, but those two days tells the story just the same. No internet. Previous assumptions about a secret button and PS holding the key to our internet woes seems to be unfounded. More than likely it’s either the North Koreans or the Chinese. Perhaps a collaboration of both to hinder the children of South Korea from learning English? Well, they obviously don’t think very highly of the teachers here. The internet can be a great tool in adding diversity in instruction but it is not the only tool or the best. So block my internet and make my life a little less convenient you rapscallions! But I shall teach these children English and tell them not to buy anything made in China!
*Internet came on at 9am! The Prophecy was fulfilled!